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Everyday Leader
Congruity Matters
A late night talk show host used to present lists of of "things that make you go, huh?" Reading the paper this morning an item caught my eye that would probably have made his list.
Here's the gist of the story.
A letter writer to an advice column was seeking counsel on the following issue: She was filling out an applicatin for her child's admission to a 'prestigious religious academy,' and she was concerned about the requirement to list her and her husband's occupations because both are 'adult film actors.'
"Huh?"
Wait, it gets better. The writer of the letter was trying to decide whether she should lie on the application to improve her child's chances of admittance to the school. Then she reveals the essence of her inner conflict in suggesting that it would not be right to say she was a film actress without revealing the nature of the films in which she acts.
Why bring this up in a leadership newsletter? One simple reason. Leaders lead people, and people are often conflicted about things that appear relatively black and white on the surface.
While there is not enough information to understand the logic behind the consternation of the aforementioned letter writer, there are some possible explanations for the quandry that have direct implications for leading yourself and others. Consider these three:
1. If you decide, then it's not my fault. The writer of the letter wants to tell the truth, but understands that there may be negative consequences if she does. By asking someone else for advice, she passes the responsibility for the decision to the person who gives the advice.
Workplace Implications: The people you lead are always concerned with the consequences and impacts of their mistakes. When they can see potential incongruities, the easy solution is to pass the decision off to someone else. The job of the leader is to coach them so they learn to make such decisions themselves, always within the context of the values, beliefs, and culture of the company.
2. All decisions are situational. The writer of the letter knows the right thing to do and sees the incongruity of the question she is asking, but believes the end may justify the means. Based on this worldview, the truth is important, but only to the extent that it does not prevent her from achieving her desired outcome.
Workplace Implications: There are countless decision moments of this type everyday in virtually every business that exists...everything from accuracy in reporting expenses, to honesty in responses to climate surveys, to maintaining the confidentiality of personal conversations. The work of the leader is to create an environment where there are clear benefits and rewards for dong the right thing, every time.
3. If other people agree, then it must be acceptable. The writer of the letter may actually be using an approach that is increasingly common (fueled in part by the duplicitous nature of reality TV and its pervasive influence): keep asking the question until you find at least one other person who agrees with you. Once you've done that, you have a justification for doing whatever it is that you want to do, because someone else agrees that it is OK.
Workplace Implications: The decisions made by those you lead are always impacted by their core beliefs, AND by their perceptions of how others would handle the same situation. That's why it is so important to clearly define organizational values and communicate them regularly so that people understand the framework within which the company exists. It is that framework which should guide decisions, not the diluted perspective achieved through peer conversation.
ACTION STEP: The core message should be clear--Congruity Matters! If you want your team to make consistent decisions that reflect the culture and values of your organization, then you need to define the values and work everyday to live them and make them part of the culture. Your goal is to make sure that there is congruence between what you say and what you do, between what you believe and how you act, and between what others think and who you really are.
*******
Everyday Leader is written by Michael Hudson, Ph.D., The Everyday Leadership Authority(tm). Comments are welcome. Archived issues can be viewed at Everyday Leader Archives
Copyright MMIII by The Everyday Leadership Network. Reproduction for publication is encouraged, with the following attribution: From "Everyday Leader," by Michael Hudson, Ph.D., The Everyday Leadership Authority(tm). Toll Free: (866) 532-3968; International: (302) 684-8727 or at www.EverydayLeader.com
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